For nearly all of my life, I believed that good things happen to the righteous; bad things happen to those who are unrighteous, or to the righteous as faith building experiences. I was raised Mormon, and thus with a belief that you get what you deserve. Why did I believe such a thing?
Here is a quote from a general authority of the Mormon church.
“Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously. When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more. He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit.” ― Richard G. Scott, October 1995
I used to think
these words were full of wisdom. Now I see that they are full of
nonsense. Basically, what this quote says is that bad things are going to
happen to us. It might be as a result of our disobedience to God's
commandments, or it might be a
result of God helping us to grow. How is one to know the
difference? What if we think God is just testing us, but he's
really punishing us for misdeeds, and we get our signals crossed. We
simply endure patiently, when we should be taking corrective action. I've
asked myself in recent months why God would do such a thing.
When we lived in Israel a number of years ago,
there was a tremendous earthquake, which killed huge numbers of people, in Bam,
Iran. One photo of the event will never leave my memory. It was a
photo of a father carrying the bodies of his two dead sons.
What had this man done to deserve such a punishment? He must have been very wicked indeed. Maybe he was in need of polishing? He must have been an extremely rough character in order require polishing of this magnitude. Was God punishing this man for sin, or polishing him for everlasting benefit? What kind of God kills a man's sons for either purpose. I can tell you that if there is such a God, He is not a God that I would wish to worship.
As I began the heartbreaking process of accepting that the Mormon church was based on a carefully constructed web of lies, I began to question every religious "truth" I had ever been taught in my life. I picked at the strands of the web, which had been holding my beliefs until the beliefs all fell in a heap on the floor. I've begun taking each idea from the pile to see what I really think about each of them.
I had always believed in a loving God. I could not reconcile a loving God with a God who allows millions of Jews to be killed in the Holocaust, or sweeps away over 200,000 people in a tsunami, or allows buses to be blown to bits in Israel. This photo came to my mind today, as I pondered the quote by Richard G. Scott, and my attempt to believe in a loving God who could and would do such things just snapped.
If there is a God, I don't believe he would punish us in such ways. If there is a God, I do not see that he is able to act in our lives. My husband feels that if God does exist, that he operates on the principles of the Prime Directive (You're welcome, Star Trek fans).
One thing I feel in my heart is that bad things happen. They just do. No amount of righteousness, sin, repentance, faith, good works, hope, scripture reading, temple sessions, service, church attendance, casserole baking, or prayer will change the fact that bad things are going to happen to us. Bad things happen, and they happen randomly. God does not cause them. YOU do not cause them, nor deserve them.
I do believe, however, that whether you grow or let yourself be destroyed by the bad things depends on you. If you believe in God, or a specific religion, the Bible, the Book of Mormon, the Koran, prayer, meditation, yoga, or anything else, and that belief brings you peace and comfort, then that is a beautiful thing. How you use your beliefs to heal from the bad things, is what matters, and how you use your beliefs to help your fellow man.
Bad things happen, they just do. And it sucks.
