At last weekend’s Mormon General Conference, Jeffry R.
Holland delivered one of the most disturbing talks that has ever been uttered
over the LDS pulpit. He worked every
mother of a wayward child into a panicked frenzy over the lost soul that was
her son or daughter. His words and those
of other LDS general authorities amount to nothing more than a war cry towards
apostates.
The Mormon Church is losing members at a rate that is
sending shock waves of alarm among the glorious fifteen rich, white, privileged
men who run the corporation masquerading as a church. The membership is dropping, and by that I
mean that people are actually resigning from the church in droves. People are packing up and leaving, whole
families even, and these are not the people on the fringes of Mormonism. These
are the stalwart, temple recommend-holding Mormon poster children type families. Poof, gone!
Along with their money, time, and talents.
Now, the church has two choices. They can choose to sooth the fears of the
parents of errant children by taking a gentle stance of Christian kindness and
unconditional love, or they can choose the gestapo route. I had hoped, when I left the church three
years ago, that they would choose the former, but unfortunately, with every
passing conference, it’s clear that they are choosing the latter.
Here I present the Conference Talk that Should Have Been:
My Dear Brothers and Sisters,
I am humbled to stand before you today to speak about an
extremely sensitive topic. Many of you,
maybe even most of you have a son, daughter, or other loved one who has left
the Mormon Church to pursue another path in life. I say firmly to you, to each of you within
the sound of my voice that you have only one option, and that is to love your
wayward loved ones with the absolute unconditional love of Christ.
Now, we speak of this term a great deal in the church. What does it actually mean? Unconditional love is exactly that. Love without conditions, acceptance,
kindness, and inclusion. Do not weep and
tell them that you are praying for their lost souls. Do not exclude them from family events. Do not gossip about them because they do not
wear clothing that is in keeping with Mormon standards. Do not judge them for drinking alcohol,
smoking, getting tattoos, multiple piercings, being gay, or living with their
significant other outside the bonds of marriage. After all, didn’t God instruct us to let him
do the judging? This means that you do
not get to judge them. Period.
Which is a greater sin?
To stray from the straight and narrow path than is Mormonism, or to
judge another who strays? I say to you
that it is a greater sin to judge, because God himself reserved that privilege
for himself. Is it not enough that you
quietly live your own convictions, and leave others to live their lives as they
see fit? God only expects of you to
concern yourself with your own thoughts and deeds, not those of your loved
ones.
I speak now, especially to the mothers. These are your children. The little one you cared for, loved and
taught the best you knew how. You spent
sleepless nights while they burned up with fever. You mended their scraped elbows, and dried
their tears. You cooked countless meals
for them. You rocked them, sang to them,
read to them, taught them to pray, and took them to church. They were a gift from God to you.
Now they are grown.
It is their time to live a life of their own choosing, even if it is not
the life you would choose for them. The
beauty of our time on earth is that we all have the agency to choose the life
we want to live. Do not mourn for
them. Rejoice that they are living the
plan God set in place. God gave them the
right to determine the path for themselves.
You have done all you can, and now is the time to set them free.
If you are going to pray for them, pray that they find
happiness and joy in whatever they pursue in life. It may not be the ideal life for you, but you
can love them and support them as they make their way in this world. Some will be doctors, scientists, athletes,
musicians, artists, philosophers, teachers, and I pray that all of them will
achieve truly great things. Pray that
they will find peace in serving their fellow man. Pray that they will find solace in your arms,
that they will trust you and love you because they know that you will never
judge them.
Most of all, pray for yourself, that you can find peace and
acceptance in your own heart, free from guilt, fear, or remorse for any
failings that you might burden yourself with.
Be confident that you truly did the best you could, and did your utmost
to raise your babies to be loving human beings.
I say to you that everything will be okay. I believe in a loving God, who cares just as
deeply for your children as he does for you.
God is just, he is kind, and he is forgiving.
Weep not, worry not.
Be of good cheer as you wrap your children and loved ones in your
comforting arms as only parents are able.
Trust that God knows you and knows your children, and after all, the
Lord looketh on the heart.
