A Tale of Two Red Shoes

For the past few years, I've developed an affinity for red shoes.  I don't know why, they are fun; they make me smile.

Our anniversary was a few weeks ago, and we went to a nice dinner downtown.  We were early for our dinner reservation, so we walked the streets downtown, taking in the interesting people, the construction sites, the guitarist on the corner, and the food carts on the sidewalks.   We window shopped, and I spotted these adorable shoes.  They were so cute that I stopped to take a picture.

They were so cute that I really, really, really wanted a pair.  I wanted a pair so badly that I couldn't get them out of my head.  I shared the picture of these shoes on Facebook.  I dreamed abut them, and thought about them constantly.  I felt like a little girl in a storybook who would be a fabulous dancer in these beautiful shoes.  Even weeks later, the thought of these shoes made me smile.  They reminded me of nice, ripe cherries, just picked form our cherry tree, plump and juicy, sweet and tasty, and well...perfect!

I didn't buy the shoes.

I thought a lot about why I didn't buy the shoes.

I didn't buy the shoes because I didn't feel good enough to deserve the shoes.   I didn't buy the shoes because I was raised by a mother who didn't buy things for herself and then complained about not buying things for herself.  I hated the complaining, so I determined not to complain, but I grew up and didn't buy things for myself.   I never complained, but I went without, and not out of necessity, but instead out of guilt.  I felt incredible guilt spending the family resources on myself.  As the years passed, I went without, even when I really needed something, I went without if I could make do instead.  Because I never complained, nobody noticed if I went without.  Inside, I died a little each time, I grew a little sadder, and I felt a little less self-worth.  Until I felt nearly worthless.  Pious but worthless.

Until one day when I found some stunning, rather expensive, red shoes.

We had enough money for the shoes, so it wasn't the money.  Every mother and woman should get a cute pair of shoes every once in a while, for no good reason, and not because she needs a pair of shoes, but just because they make her feel special.  As the weeks passed, I determined to purchase the shoes and to feel no guilt.  I hinted strongly that they would make a fabulous Valentine's Day present.  My sweetheart got me my incredible shoes.  He understands what these shoes mean to me.

So, to the women out there reading, I say to you, "Find your red shoes."  Discover something that makes you feel amazing.  It doesn't have to be expensive, but it does need to be just for you.  Take care of you.  Make sure that you don't reach the point where you feel worthless and pious.  It's wonderful to take care of yourself.  Take notice of those around you.  Do those you love have their "red shoes"?

Everyone needs a fabulous pair of red shoes.  Discover yours.  Feel no guilt.