I've heard this argument, ad nauseum, from my religious friends, that redefining marriage somehow harms heterosexual marriage. When I ask how, exactly, the harm is caused, they are at a loss for words. It's a tired cliche that they hear at church and on Fox News, and repeat without even thinking about what they are saying. For one thing, since when is redefining a term a bad thing? Redefining merely clarifies, expounds, extends, or evolves, it's neither good nor bad, it just is.
First of all, how many times has marriage been redefined in the course of history? Too many to count. How many times was marriage redefined in the Bible, for goodness sake? Concubines, women sold as property, women given as gifts or as bargaining chips in a land deal, just to name a few. Hell yes, let's redefine! I'm nobody's property, I'm not some gift to be given or traded. The fact that marriage, for the most part, has been relatively recently redefined as one man and one woman marrying each other for love, and of their own choice doesn't make that kind of marriage the "traditional" kind of marriage. There are more traditions of marriage than I can count on my fingers and toes combined, so what makes this most recent tradition the correct one? God said so, you say? Um, God said lots of other things as well, such as Abraham taking a concubine, and then another wife after Sarah's death. God also told Mormons to grab as many wives as possible, even if they are young teens and you're a middle aged man.
Anyone know what Mormon scripture says about wives and women? I do.
I won't bore you with the excessively verbose and flowery language that Joseph Smith used when he made up this "scripture". D&C 132 essentially says that women are the property of the men who marry them. It also says that the highest form of celestial marriage is that of polygamy, and that anyone not entering into polygamy cannot attain the highest degree in Mormon heaven, aka the Celestial Kingdom. In addition, if a man commits adultery, his wives can be taken from him and given to another. Thank heavens that marriage has since been temporarily suspended by the Mormon church, though most Mormons probably don't realize what Mormon doctrine and scripture actually says. Mormon practices and Mormon doctrine are two different things, apparently.
As a child, I always hated the thought of polygamy. I was scared that I'd have to live it, and I didn't want to. It was one of those things that I chose not to think about because it was too disturbing. It was an incredible relief to me to leave Mormonism behind and to realize that the "doctrine" of polygamy was nothing more than Joseph Smith justifying his unwillingness to be faithful to his wife, Emma.
In support of my LGBT friends, on this, the eve of the Supreme Court addressing the issue of gay marriage, I say let's redefine. Let's and embrace and support anyone who wants to spend a lifetime loving each other. Enough of the "God said it's bad" argument. "God" said lots of things in the Bible and Mormon scriptures that people choose to ignore. Let people live and love and have basic human rights. If there's some kind of sinning going on, why not let God deal with it, and we all just go about the business of loving each other?
Amen!
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